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He should punish you, a little voice says in the back of his head, you've been bad.
"Shouldn't there be, you know, consequences?"
"Shouldn't there be, you know, consequences?"
"Yes."
He says, breathing out, straightening up.
"I don't know what to do to convince you not to keep these secrets and act this impulsively. And I do want to point out that this has happened twice this month. What else are you not telling me?"
He says, breathing out, straightening up.
"I don't know what to do to convince you not to keep these secrets and act this impulsively. And I do want to point out that this has happened twice this month. What else are you not telling me?"
He thinks things over, carefully. "I think I'm doing this because I have no idea how my emotions work. I've just been... I think things are fine, and the something happens and I just react. No thinking."
"Did you get as far as getting involved in the violence today? If you attacked her, I owe it to Quill to ask her opinion on what comes next."
He still doesn't have a clear picture of the blow by blow of the afternoon.
He still doesn't have a clear picture of the blow by blow of the afternoon.
He shakes his head. "No, I hung back. Pagan had shot her before I could do anything."
"Okay."
He gets up, realizing he's forgotten the coffee, and moving to go get it, to pour them both cups.
"Then for now, I'm not throwing you in zero. But I do have people whose input I need before I decide unilaterally what comes next. And I would be interested in hearing your feelings on it- if there's anything you think would be fair."
He gets up, realizing he's forgotten the coffee, and moving to go get it, to pour them both cups.
"Then for now, I'm not throwing you in zero. But I do have people whose input I need before I decide unilaterally what comes next. And I would be interested in hearing your feelings on it- if there's anything you think would be fair."
Beat me, kill me, put me in chains, make me clean the Barge with a sponge. But he shoves that aside. Not useful.
"I deserve something. Maybe... help Quill? Help her adjust so she's not freaked out?" It's the opposite of what he meant to do, maybe that's a good thing?
"I deserve something. Maybe... help Quill? Help her adjust so she's not freaked out?" It's the opposite of what he meant to do, maybe that's a good thing?
"If she agrees, which she might very well not. As far as she's concerned, you just tried to kill her."
Setting their cups down on the table, sinking into a seat.
"Does Pagan have a job?"
Setting their cups down on the table, sinking into a seat.
"Does Pagan have a job?"
She probably hates you. She should.
"He's in custodial, still. I don't think he actually does much work."
"He's in custodial, still. I don't think he actually does much work."
"Then I think it would be a good idea to start by covering for him while he's recovering, don't you?"
Stirring milk into his coffee.
"Arthur could use the support.
Stirring milk into his coffee.
"Arthur could use the support.
"Ok." Extra work, as arduous as it is, seems right.
"Ok. I'm going to let you let Pagan know you're covering him for the week. I'll talk to Arthur, and find out when we should report. I'll join you for some of it- my magical projects providing."
Cradling his coffee cup.
"I'll talk to Quill. When Pagan is back on his feet be ready to lend a day or two to the infirmary, if they need. I don't think today will put too big a strain on their resources but we can lend a hand if they need. Does that all scan?"
Cradling his coffee cup.
"I'll talk to Quill. When Pagan is back on his feet be ready to lend a day or two to the infirmary, if they need. I don't think today will put too big a strain on their resources but we can lend a hand if they need. Does that all scan?"
"Yeah. I'll tell Pagan." He nods and finally reaches for the coffee and takes a drink.
"Okay. We'll call it- two weeks on doubles- make it three days a week, the Monday, Wednesday, Friday. And at the end of that we'll see if Quill wants to sit down and talk. If she does, we can approach that together, and if she doesn't, we can see where we are."
Searching Rawne's expression.
"You don't make it easy to know what to do, Rawne."
Searching Rawne's expression.
"You don't make it easy to know what to do, Rawne."
It's because you're horrible. He stares down at his mug for a long moment, trying to formulate a response. "What would make it easier?"
Yes she does. And I know that most wardens aren't going to do anything about it.
I think there's a certain value in revenge. [Which is why he didn't try to investigate if Pagan was planning something.] But around here I don't know how much good it does. How much change it can create.
I think there's a certain value in revenge. [Which is why he didn't try to investigate if Pagan was planning something.] But around here I don't know how much good it does. How much change it can create.
Ours didn't do much, certainly. And I didn't get to do what I wanted.
"Oh- I'm not seriously complaining. I just love you very much but also can't always read you super well."
A shrug of his shoulders.
"Maybe it would be good if you told me what you're feeling?"
A shrug of his shoulders.
"Maybe it would be good if you told me what you're feeling?"
As usual, Quentin telling him he loves him makes him stare at his coffee even harder. "I feel... it's like a sack of cats are fighting in my chest. I feel... weak. And angry that I feel weak."
It's as even as it'll ever be. I've got no intention of pursuing her further.
[He nods. He could leave it at that; no further vengeance, no further mess.
But he frowns. Goddammit.]
I know that 'justice' doesn't always leave people feeling satisfied [Not that any justice has been served anyway] and God knows revenge doesn't always either, but this is bullshit. I'm sorry the system here can't do anything but this same cycle, over and over.
But he frowns. Goddammit.]
I know that 'justice' doesn't always leave people feeling satisfied [Not that any justice has been served anyway] and God knows revenge doesn't always either, but this is bullshit. I'm sorry the system here can't do anything but this same cycle, over and over.
[That makes him feel better. Lark, apparently, feels like he does. Like it's futile and nothing's going to change for the better.]
It is bullshit. There's no... satisfaction. Nothing to be gained that can't be dragged down.
"I'm sorry it's hard for you right now."
He says- for all that Rawne brought part of this on himself, Quentin doesn't like that it has to hurt.
He says- for all that Rawne brought part of this on himself, Quentin doesn't like that it has to hurt.
Rawne just nods and drinks more coffee. As much as he likes knowing someone cares, expressions of sympathy make his throat feel clogged.
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