"In myself," he admits, "I keep up a good facade, but some shit around here... it rattles me." He's good at keeping other people from noticing how he's feeling, but he still feels it.
“Rattling people is likely the point. The things that happen here make us think and talk about things that we would otherwise avoid, or things that we would never have considered on our own.” They glance at the orb. “For example, I would never have gotten this without one of my Breach selves.”
Avalon takes a sip of the sacra, studying the glass. How much would they need to drink to do something like asking the entire ship to have sex with them? They have no idea. It may never affect them in that way. All they had felt last time was a kind of heaviness, but their mind had felt unchanged.
“I find the Floods and Breaches interesting, at least, even if they are inconvenient.” They want to ask why it rattles him and why he feels the need to put up a facade. “I would have preferred to avoid the last one, though.”
"They are interesting." He downs the rest of his sacra. "The last one was... odder than most. I'm not sure I liked being an animal, like that." Though he did have some fun adventures.
“I think that was the first time that my Breach self was not at least humanoid.” Though their first Breach self had been closer to the form that they take in the Rift. “It was interesting, but if my body is going to change I would rather do it myself.”
Avalon finishes their glass, glancing at the bottle. Now is not a good time to test their body’s limits. They can do it later, when they have at least a day to themself.
“Where was the port?” A world similar to the Breach seems like it would be an odd place for the Admiral to stop.
"I don't remember. Red... something. We were transformed to fit in with the natives," he says, "I think it was in my first year here. Maybe my second."
“I think we would remember more if we truly ‘went’ anywhere.” Avalon gets up to pour themself another glass of wine, then offers the bottle to Rawne. “Do the Breaches ever feel like dreaming to you?” They have no idea what human sleep feels like, but they think the Breaches are mental, like a more powerful Flood.
"Once we're out of them, yeah. It's like waking up from a dream and remembering it, until it fades." He's had dreams like that, once that feel as vivid as life for a while. Mostly on Gereon, when the enemy corruption was everywhere.
They drop back onto the couch, careful not to spill their sacra. They let their body sink into the cushions, sitting close to the arm of the couch so as to avoid invading Rawne’s personal space. The heaviness that they had felt last time is beginning to settle into their bones. “The reason I ask is that they feel similar to comas, but with memories to fill that time.”
"Maybe it is. I haven't been in a coma, here, so I'm not sure what they're like." He refills his glass, carefully. He's not drunk, really, but he's feeling a certain fogginess that the alcohol gives him.
“How long have you been here?” Their comas have been short and seldom, but they have happened. Everyone they know seems to have been in a coma at least once.
“Five years is a long time to have never had one.” The comas seem random, except for the fact that some groups of people seem to always go under at the same time, but that is a long time.
“They seem to do nothing. People who normally dream may dream while in comas, but I would have no idea. I doubt the Admiral directly controls them. He seems too absentminded for that.” Avalon uncrosses their legs, letting themself take up more space. “Shaw said that hers are fairly regular, right?”
“It is easier to anticipate, and it seems less likely that she might disappear.” How would I feel if she disappeared?
The orb answers that question for them, a little streak of navy crossing the surface for a moment. They have to look it up on their cheat sheet, but it makes sense. Like Rawne, Shaw understands their emotions, and knows what it feels like to have always been this way.
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“Rattling people is likely the point. The things that happen here make us think and talk about things that we would otherwise avoid, or things that we would never have considered on our own.” They glance at the orb. “For example, I would never have gotten this without one of my Breach selves.”
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Avalon takes a sip of the sacra, studying the glass. How much would they need to drink to do something like asking the entire ship to have sex with them? They have no idea. It may never affect them in that way. All they had felt last time was a kind of heaviness, but their mind had felt unchanged.
“I find the Floods and Breaches interesting, at least, even if they are inconvenient.” They want to ask why it rattles him and why he feels the need to put up a facade. “I would have preferred to avoid the last one, though.”
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“I think that was the first time that my Breach self was not at least humanoid.” Though their first Breach self had been closer to the form that they take in the Rift. “It was interesting, but if my body is going to change I would rather do it myself.”
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Avalon finishes their glass, glancing at the bottle. Now is not a good time to test their body’s limits. They can do it later, when they have at least a day to themself.
“Where was the port?” A world similar to the Breach seems like it would be an odd place for the Admiral to stop.
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“…Redwall?” If so, then they had no idea something like that could happen.
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“I think we would remember more if we truly ‘went’ anywhere.” Avalon gets up to pour themself another glass of wine, then offers the bottle to Rawne. “Do the Breaches ever feel like dreaming to you?” They have no idea what human sleep feels like, but they think the Breaches are mental, like a more powerful Flood.
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They drop back onto the couch, careful not to spill their sacra. They let their body sink into the cushions, sitting close to the arm of the couch so as to avoid invading Rawne’s personal space. The heaviness that they had felt last time is beginning to settle into their bones. “The reason I ask is that they feel similar to comas, but with memories to fill that time.”
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“How long have you been here?” Their comas have been short and seldom, but they have happened. Everyone they know seems to have been in a coma at least once.
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“Five years is a long time to have never had one.” The comas seem random, except for the fact that some groups of people seem to always go under at the same time, but that is a long time.
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“Do you have any idea why?”
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“They seem to do nothing. People who normally dream may dream while in comas, but I would have no idea. I doubt the Admiral directly controls them. He seems too absentminded for that.” Avalon uncrosses their legs, letting themself take up more space. “Shaw said that hers are fairly regular, right?”
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“It is easier to anticipate, and it seems less likely that she might disappear.” How would I feel if she disappeared?
The orb answers that question for them, a little streak of navy crossing the surface for a moment. They have to look it up on their cheat sheet, but it makes sense. Like Rawne, Shaw understands their emotions, and knows what it feels like to have always been this way.
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