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Sleep with people to try and feel something. [They can follow Adam’s logic easily enough.]
Maybe it would have worked for me. I never tried, at least not as myself.
The Barge is different, both from the Rift and from Earth. Even with Avalon’s telepathy restored, all of the cabins and some of the people register as blank spaces unless they intentionally reach out. When they do, some people are still harder to contact than others, their thoughts and emotions rushing through Avalon’s mind in a blur. They decide not to try any sort of manipulation on random people, even after they develop a mental list of those whose minds are more difficult to reach.
Which means that, by the time they knock on Rawne’s door, they have no indicator of whether or not they will be able to accomplish anything. They can tell that they want to, more than they did before, but they would prefer to try this on someone they know.
They mirror his smile after a moment, and it feels more natural than they had expected. This is what their bracelet had labeled as connection and empathy, what Malcolm had labeled as affection.
They can sense Rawne’s emotions more easily, the blur in their mind taking on more definition. “During one of the Floods, you asked if I could … remove your regrets. I may not have an exact answer to that, but you are easier to contact than some people here.”
They close the door behind them, and the other emotions around them vanish as if being locked out. ::It might help if you think about it,:: they tell him. They let their ability probe, searching for the emotions that they remember from the dreamscape. As specific memories become more prominent, they try to touch them.
Nothing happens. Rawne will feel nothing except for the sudden absence of Avalon’s mind. One moment the connection is there. The next it is simply gone, and Avalon finds themself alone in their mind again.
“…I have no idea if something happened or not,” they say quietly. To them, it felt like they picked up a couple of memories and then dropped them.
Maybe they can try it again with someone else, and learn how it should feel. “Good to know. I was worried that I might have accidentally erased them.” Yes, worried is the name for this. This is what they felt when they learned that Shaw was in a coma, if not slightly stronger.
They can sense the affection, recognize that some of it is coming from them. “That would be nice.” They liked how it felt last time, the way their mind had been quiet without feeling empty.
Avalon lets themself sink into the couch next to him, pressing themself against the arm. Their orb digs into their hip, and they unhook the carabiner from their belt, setting the bag on the floor.
“My new inmate is not someone I already knew, and I think that makes it easier.” Their instinct is to think of their inmates like partners, not subordinates. “I would rather be temporarily paired with strangers.” It helps them maintain distance.
“It feels easier to keep my distance,” they explain. “I knew Root, so I tried to dig deeper and I pushed her away. With a stranger, I can learn about them, but I am starting with nothing and may not get to the point of pushing their boundaries.”
“You and I became friends, but I think that trying to form a connection with every inmate I had would end badly. Some people need an authority figure.” Avalon takes a sip of the sacra. “Eventually, I might find a better balance.”
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