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[major_rawne]

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[major_rawne]

"Sure." He trusts them enough to not add exceptions to that. Whatever it is, Avalon won't hurt him.

[chaos_drifter]

They lean over to retrieve their bag, then pull the orb out of it. They offer it to Rawne. “I want to see what it looks like for someone else.”

[major_rawne]

Rawne takes the orb and looks at it, curious. There's a swirl of colors, yellow and red and a twist of blue.

[chaos_drifter]

“No black. I wondered if that would happen.” Shaw had asked if Avalon’s showed a lot of gray, likely for the same reason. Theirs had been fully colored a few times before their cheat sheet had changed, but after that it had always had some black, either as a barrier between other colors or like a veil draped over them.

[major_rawne]

"What does black mean?" he asks. As he studies the orb, the yellow flares, nearly eclipsing the other two colors.

[chaos_drifter]

“It means apathy.” They watch the yellow, the corners of their mouth curving upwards slightly. “The orb always has some black when I hold it, the same way Shaw’s always has some gray.” They may not be certain that it means the same thing for Shaw, but it makes sense.

[major_rawne]

"I don't have much of that, these days." He hands the orb back to them. "I used to, but it went away."

[chaos_drifter]

The yellow remains when Avalon takes the orb, swirls of black and emerald green shivering over the surface. “I think mine will always be there. It feels more like quiet than emptiness now, though.” The difference between them is hard to describe, but it exists.

[major_rawne]

"Quiet's good," he says, "sometimes I could use a little quiet." He drinks, again.

[chaos_drifter]

“In yourself, or in the people around you?” Sometimes his mind is quiet to them, but they have become more aware of the barrier that he keeps between his emotions and the outside world.

[major_rawne]

"In myself," he admits, "I keep up a good facade, but some shit around here... it rattles me." He's good at keeping other people from noticing how he's feeling, but he still feels it.

[chaos_drifter]

“Rattling people is likely the point. The things that happen here make us think and talk about things that we would otherwise avoid, or things that we would never have considered on our own.” They glance at the orb. “For example, I would never have gotten this without one of my Breach selves.”

[major_rawne]

"I'm sure it's the point. It's just one I don't always like."

[chaos_drifter]

Avalon takes a sip of the sacra, studying the glass. How much would they need to drink to do something like asking the entire ship to have sex with them? They have no idea. It may never affect them in that way. All they had felt last time was a kind of heaviness, but their mind had felt unchanged.

“I find the Floods and Breaches interesting, at least, even if they are inconvenient.” They want to ask why it rattles him and why he feels the need to put up a facade. “I would have preferred to avoid the last one, though.”

[major_rawne]

"They are interesting." He downs the rest of his sacra. "The last one was... odder than most. I'm not sure I liked being an animal, like that." Though he did have some fun adventures.

[chaos_drifter]

“I think that was the first time that my Breach self was not at least humanoid.” Though their first Breach self had been closer to the form that they take in the Rift. “It was interesting, but if my body is going to change I would rather do it myself.”

[major_rawne]

"The only other time it's happened like that for me was a port," Rawne says, "and that was a long time ago. It feels very weird."

[chaos_drifter]

Avalon finishes their glass, glancing at the bottle. Now is not a good time to test their body’s limits. They can do it later, when they have at least a day to themself.

“Where was the port?” A world similar to the Breach seems like it would be an odd place for the Admiral to stop.

[major_rawne]

"I don't remember. Red... something. We were transformed to fit in with the natives," he says, "I think it was in my first year here. Maybe my second."

[chaos_drifter]

“…Redwall?” If so, then they had no idea something like that could happen.

[major_rawne]

"Perhaps. I've never had a port and a flood go to the same place before." He's sure he'd remember that.

[chaos_drifter]

“I think we would remember more if we truly ‘went’ anywhere.” Avalon gets up to pour themself another glass of wine, then offers the bottle to Rawne. “Do the Breaches ever feel like dreaming to you?” They have no idea what human sleep feels like, but they think the Breaches are mental, like a more powerful Flood.

[major_rawne]

"Once we're out of them, yeah. It's like waking up from a dream and remembering it, until it fades." He's had dreams like that, once that feel as vivid as life for a while. Mostly on Gereon, when the enemy corruption was everywhere.

[chaos_drifter]

They drop back onto the couch, careful not to spill their sacra. They let their body sink into the cushions, sitting close to the arm of the couch so as to avoid invading Rawne’s personal space. The heaviness that they had felt last time is beginning to settle into their bones. “The reason I ask is that they feel similar to comas, but with memories to fill that time.”

[major_rawne]

"Maybe it is. I haven't been in a coma, here, so I'm not sure what they're like." He refills his glass, carefully. He's not drunk, really, but he's feeling a certain fogginess that the alcohol gives him.