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[major_rawne]

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[major_rawne]

"It feels different," he says, "I have the memories, but they're not... it's not so heavy. You helped. Thank you." Perhaps he'll have a few less nightmares, this way.

[chaos_drifter]

Maybe they can try it again with someone else, and learn how it should feel. “Good to know. I was worried that I might have accidentally erased them.” Yes, worried is the name for this. This is what they felt when they learned that Shaw was in a coma, if not slightly stronger.

[major_rawne]

"Nope. They're all there, just... less. Less of an issue, I mean." He, on the other hand, is feeling very warmly towards Avalon. "Do you want a drink?"

[chaos_drifter]

They can sense the affection, recognize that some of it is coming from them. “That would be nice.” They liked how it felt last time, the way their mind had been quiet without feeling empty.

[major_rawne]

"Great." He smile again, feeling oddly jaunty, and grabs two glasses and the bottle of sacra before sitting on the couch. "C'mon, pull up a seat."

[chaos_drifter]

Avalon lets themself sink into the couch next to him, pressing themself against the arm. Their orb digs into their hip, and they unhook the carabiner from their belt, setting the bag on the floor.

[major_rawne]

Rawne pours the sacra into the glasses and passes Avalon one. "How's wardening going?"

[chaos_drifter]

“My new inmate is not someone I already knew, and I think that makes it easier.” Their instinct is to think of their inmates like partners, not subordinates. “I would rather be temporarily paired with strangers.” It helps them maintain distance.

[major_rawne]

"Easier? Huh, I usually had it easier with people I knew." As a temp, anyway. He hasn't been perma-paired with anyone he knew well yet. When he's been paired with people he knew, he mostly didn't do much he hadn't been doing already.

[chaos_drifter]

“It feels easier to keep my distance,” they explain. “I knew Root, so I tried to dig deeper and I pushed her away. With a stranger, I can learn about them, but I am starting with nothing and may not get to the point of pushing their boundaries.”

[major_rawne]

"It would keep things professional," he acknowledges, "I was usually worried I'd hit a raw nerve and piss someone off."

[chaos_drifter]

“You and I became friends, but I think that trying to form a connection with every inmate I had would end badly. Some people need an authority figure.” Avalon takes a sip of the sacra. “Eventually, I might find a better balance.”

[major_rawne]

"There's not much point to that with temps, too. You only have them for a month." He takes a long drink.

[chaos_drifter]

“I know.” They glance at Rawne’s eyes, then at their bag on the floor.

“Do you mind if I try something?”

[major_rawne]

"Sure." He trusts them enough to not add exceptions to that. Whatever it is, Avalon won't hurt him.

[chaos_drifter]

They lean over to retrieve their bag, then pull the orb out of it. They offer it to Rawne. “I want to see what it looks like for someone else.”

[major_rawne]

Rawne takes the orb and looks at it, curious. There's a swirl of colors, yellow and red and a twist of blue.

[chaos_drifter]

“No black. I wondered if that would happen.” Shaw had asked if Avalon’s showed a lot of gray, likely for the same reason. Theirs had been fully colored a few times before their cheat sheet had changed, but after that it had always had some black, either as a barrier between other colors or like a veil draped over them.

[major_rawne]

"What does black mean?" he asks. As he studies the orb, the yellow flares, nearly eclipsing the other two colors.

[chaos_drifter]

“It means apathy.” They watch the yellow, the corners of their mouth curving upwards slightly. “The orb always has some black when I hold it, the same way Shaw’s always has some gray.” They may not be certain that it means the same thing for Shaw, but it makes sense.

[major_rawne]

"I don't have much of that, these days." He hands the orb back to them. "I used to, but it went away."

[chaos_drifter]

The yellow remains when Avalon takes the orb, swirls of black and emerald green shivering over the surface. “I think mine will always be there. It feels more like quiet than emptiness now, though.” The difference between them is hard to describe, but it exists.

[major_rawne]

"Quiet's good," he says, "sometimes I could use a little quiet." He drinks, again.

[chaos_drifter]

“In yourself, or in the people around you?” Sometimes his mind is quiet to them, but they have become more aware of the barrier that he keeps between his emotions and the outside world.

[major_rawne]

"In myself," he admits, "I keep up a good facade, but some shit around here... it rattles me." He's good at keeping other people from noticing how he's feeling, but he still feels it.